💡 Need Ideas? Here’s How to Ruin Someone’s Day (With Love)

You’ve been holding it in. They’ve been oblivious. Let us shatter the illusion.

These are the messages people need to hear but rarely ever do. This is our specialty.

Examples:

• “You’re not being ‘excluded.’ People just don’t enjoy your company when you get drunk and quote The Office for 45 minutes.”
   
• “You’re not too smart for that job — you just have a superiority complex and bad time management.”
   
• “That person isn’t ‘giving mixed signals.’ They’re not interested and hoping you take the hint.”

This is where friendships go to get flame-grilled.

Perfect for birthdays, bachelor parties, or just random Wednesday bullying. Send a roast, send a jab, remind your bestie they peaked in 2011.

Examples:

• “You're not ‘low-key funny.’ You're a walking HR violation with a punchable laugh.”
   
• “You bring a vape to yoga class. You are the problem.”
   
• “You once said 'crypto is the future' and tried to pay for brunch in Dogecoin.”

Sometimes, relationships end. That doesn’t mean you have to be the one to say it.

We’ll do it respectfully — but clearly. No false hope. No “maybe later.” Just closure.

Examples:

• “I care about you, but we’re not building the same future. This isn’t a break. This is goodbye.”
   
• “This relationship has become more painful than joyful, and I need to let you go — for both our sakes.”
   
• “I’ve stayed longer than I should have. I know this hurts, and I’m truly sorry. But I can’t keep pretending we’re okay.”

For bosses, coworkers, or “that one guy from accounting.” Whether it’s an intervention or a joke, we’ll make it unforgettable.

Send anonymously, or make it bold and public. Either way, you’ll be the office legend.

Examples:

• “You are, in fact, not crushing it. You are barely emailing it.”
   
• “Your Monday morning team huddles are universally hated. Yes, we voted.”
   
• “Stop using Comic Sans in presentations. We’re begging.”

We all have that relative. Give them the attention they crave — with consequences.

Examples:

• “Aunt Cheryl, no one wants your essential oil health tips. We want ibuprofen and boundaries.”
   
• “Dad, your grilling is mid. It’s time someone said it.”
   
• “You’re not ‘the fun cousin.’ You’re the cautionary tale.”

Need to say something real, heavy, or painful? We handle these with compassion — and clarity.

Break-ups, family estrangements, financial cuts, and difficult announcements deserve dignity.

Examples:

• “This isn’t easy to say, but I’ve decided to step away from our friendship. I’ve grown in ways that make this dynamic too painful to maintain.”
   
• “We’ve made the difficult decision to let you go. Your role has been eliminated, and we truly wish you the best moving forward.”
   
• “We won’t be continuing the lease together. It’s not personal — it’s just time for a change, and I need my own space.”

Because what better way to celebrate life than by getting emotionally slapped with a glittery glove?

Examples:

• “Congrats on surviving another year with no character development.”
   
• “You’ve aged like a fine cheese: strong, crumbly, and confusingly popular in France.”
   
• “You’re officially too old to say ‘YOLO.’”

They’ve posted too much. You’ve suffered long enough.

Examples:

• “You used 37 hashtags. The limit is 3. Please seek help.”
   
• “That selfie wasn’t giving. It was taking — time, patience, hope.”
   
• “Your ‘day in the life’ reel gave us chronic boredom.”

We get it. You traveled. So did polio.

Examples:

• “Your 3-week trip to Bali cured you of nothing.”
   
• “We don’t need 17 Instagram stories of you sipping overpriced wine.”
   
• “That tattoo says ‘wanderer.’ The locals say it means ‘discount shrimp.’”

Some people hear “no” better from a stranger. You’re welcome.

Whether it’s a friend who keeps “borrowing,” a sibling who treats you like a bank, or a partner who overspends — we’ll shut the vault, politely.

Examples:

• “I’m no longer in a position to lend or give you money. Please don’t ask again.”
   
• “I’ve supported you financially in the past, but I need to start prioritizing my own stability.”
   

Sometimes the bad news isn’t just for the boss — it’s for everyone.

If someone’s leaving a job, taking a mental health break, or calling out a toxic work culture, we can help them speak their truth (without sending an all-caps email).

Examples:

• “I’ve made the decision to resign. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned here, but I’m burnt out and need to prioritize my health.”
   
• “This isn’t working for me anymore — I’m not growing, and I’m constantly overwhelmed.”
   
• “I’ll be stepping away indefinitely. This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.”