Terms and Conditions for Bad News Delivery Service

 Welcome to Josh Breaks Bad News — the service where someone else takes your emotional mess and cheerfully lobs it at your target like a flaming dodgeball of truth. 

Before you send Josh off to destroy a friendship, relationship, or roommate agreement, read through these Terms & Conditions. 

They’re written in plain English, lightly seasoned with sarcasm, and served with a side of “please don’t sue us.” 

Josh Breaks Bad News is a call-based service where Josh calls someone on your behalf to deliver uncomfortable truths. We’re talking breakups, ghostings, betrayals, passive-aggressive revelations, or “hey, you’ve been voted off the friend island” style notifications.

Right now, calls are made privately — no livestream, no camera crew, no audience of trolls. It’s just Josh, a phone, and the sheer willpower to say the things you’re too emotionally constipated to say yourself.

Requests are processed on a first-come, first-served basis, so the sooner you submit, the sooner the awkwardness begins. Eventually, Josh hopes to take things live — but for now, it’s analog mayhem at its finest.

•  Submitting a request is 100% FREE.
   
• That said, bad news is in high demand (who knew?), and the queue can grow like your ex’s list of red flags.
   
• If you want to jump the line and get your call handled sooner, you can send a tip.
   
• Tipping moves your request to the Expedited Calls List — basically the TSA PreCheck of emotional damage.
   

BUT IMPORTANT:

Tipping does not guarantee an immediate call. It just helps Josh prioritize requests and keeps him fueled on caffeine and crippling anxiety.

 Think of this like express shipping, but instead of a package, it’s bad vibes in audio form.

• When you tip, your call request gets added to the Expedited Calls List.
   
• Josh reviews that list regularly and works through it ahead of the unpaid requests.
   
• No robots, no auto-dialers — just one man and his phone, doing emotional labor for strangers.
   
• The order is still based on when the tip came in — so tipping doesn’t let you cut everyone, just most people.
   
• Tipping is not a contract, not a guarantee, and not a pact with a dark spirit. If Josh can't complete the call, it's not a breach of the universal laws of karma.

 If you decide to tip (thank you, kind soul), there’s one small-but-crucial step:

🧠 YOU MUST ENTER A 4-LETTER CODE in both the Bad News Request Form and in the comment or memo field of your tip/payment.
 

• This is how Josh connects your payment to your submission.
   
• Think of it like your claim ticket at a chaotic dry cleaner. No ticket, no pants. No code, no call.
   

🛑 If your codes don’t match or you forget to add one, your call will not be expedited. Josh doesn’t have psychic powers. Yet.

 Once your request is up in the queue:

• Josh dials the recipient directly, using the phone number you provided.
   
• If they answer, boom — the bad news gets delivered right then and there.
   
• If they don’t answer, Josh will try to leave a voicemail, assuming it’s an option.
   
• If no voicemail is available, Josh may try again later, at his discretion.
   
• Josh does not text the person or send follow-ups unless stated otherwise. This is a one-shot, one-call kind of deal.
   

⚠️ Josh cannot force anyone to answer their phone.

If the person screens unknown numbers like a paranoid hermit, that’s out of our control. 

Tips are not refunded if your target dodges the call.

•  You authorize Josh to call the person using the contact info you provided.
   
• You confirm that you have permission (legal or moral) to share that number.
   
• You agree not to use this service for:
   
  • Harassment
     
  • Revenge porn (ew, no)
     
  • Illegal activities (Josh isn’t trying to end up in a Netflix docuseries)
     
  • 🧬 Telling someone they have a terminal illness — seriously, unless you're a licensed doctor with a stethoscope and malpractice insurance, this is not your moment to be Dr. Doom.
     
  • ☠️ Death announcements of actual humans — unless it’s metaphorical (like “your vibes are dead”).
     
  • 🐶 Faking the death of a pet to emotionally manipulate someone into taking you back. That’s not just cruel, it’s emotionally lazy.
     
  • Anything that crosses the line from “dark comedy” into “therapy is now mandatory.”
     

Josh is here for uncomfortable laughs, not lifelong trauma. If your request sounds like it would get someone banned from Thanksgiving dinner and the internet, he’s probably not making that call.

This emotional support service is designed for dark humor, catharsis, and comedy — not cruelty. 

If you submit something that is intentionally abusive, threatening, violent, or disturbing, your request will be ignored (and possibly screen-shotted and laughed at privately). 

Josh Breaks Bad News has a pretty thick skin, but he draws the line at being your weapon of emotional warfare. 

This isn’t Dexter. 

This is awkward customer service, and we expect you to adhere to our terms and conditions.

•  Only tip through official links provided on the site.
   
• If someone DMs you pretending to be Josh asking for PayPal under the name “J0sh_StealzYourMoney99” — run.
   
• If you’re ever unsure, just message or email before sending money. Josh loves a good question.

As this delightfully chaotic project grows, so will the rules outlined in our terms and conditions. These may get updated to reflect changes in how our emotional support service handles calls, how requests are submitted, or how Josh from Josh Breaks Bad News finally loses his mind.

If you want to keep up with changes, check back here once in a while. Or don’t. We’ll still love you.

 Whether you're a silent lurker, a casual fan, or a full-blown emotional saboteur using this service to blow up group chats — thank you.

Josh couldn’t do this without the wonderful weirdos who send him tips, requests, and strange stories to scream into voicemail inboxes.

You’re the real heroes.

(But also maybe talk to a therapist.)

 By submitting a request, you agree that Josh has the right to use any audio, content, reactions, voicemails, or stories generated during the bad news delivery for social media, marketing, or public content purposes.

That means:

• If your recipient leaves a voicemail that’s spicier than a gas station burrito at 2AM? Josh might share it.
   
• If Josh’s delivery is the stuff of comedy legend? It might end up on TikTok, Instagram, or somewhere else people go to procrastinate doing literally anything productive.
   
• Names and identifying info may be changed or bleeped to protect the guilty, but the core awkward energy stays intact.
   

If you’d prefer your request stay private, you can say so in the form — and Josh will honor that.

Otherwise?

📈 Your cringe might become content.

And we all suffer... so we might as well make it entertaining.